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Monday, January 25, 2010

As If...

Many people say that disaster comes in threes. If this is all that is happening to me for a while, I really hope that's true.

1-On the way home from work one rainy night, I turn on my lights on bright and all of the lights in my car cut off. Freaking out, I flip them back on to normal and everything comes back on right. So, when I get home, thinking that something really weird happened and that I should test it again, I flip my brights back on. Nothing happens with exception of the brights coming back on. Yay, great. Nothing's wrong! But...I think it's the battery so I tell Mom. She says "We'll get you a new battery this weekend". Yay, great, going to get a new battery, everything's all good. I walk outside the next rainy morning, turn my car on, it starts without a problem and I drive to work. Get out of work get in my car and of course it won't start. Next day get a battery, put it in, Yay! It starts and I'm on my happy way.

2-Next day go to work, work, get out of work in the pouring rain, get in my car, start it up and it starts jerking and making this god awful noise. So! I turn it off, turn it back on and it won't start. Try again, it turns over like it wants to start, but doesn't fire. What? Fucking...what?! The starter?! What is it?! Dad thinks I ran out of gas (seriously? I've never run out of gas and the gas gauge is above empty for christ sakes!) Mom is going to come and help me out, she has to finish getting ready. I'm good, a little cold and wet from the rain but perfectly happy to wait while sitting in my car and listening to my MP3 player. Mom calls back, Dad wants to go since he just has to change. Great, fine, whatever. Dad calls me a few minutes later saying he doesn't have the gas can and that I need to go and get one from Walmart. Jesus christ, it's pouring rain and it's an at least five minute walk what's the goddamn difference between me waiting an extra FIVE whole minutes for you to get there so you can drive me to the store and I get go in and get one?! I tell Mom, Mom gets pissed "This is why I wanted to go damn it." (My thoughts:Well, you didn't you let my fucking short tempered Dad who is going to get me sick because it's 35 degrees and POURING RAIN!!). So, walk to Walmart, walk back out, by the time I get back to my car I am absolutely soaked including my shoes and my jeans up to my knees where the water was splashing on by let's see, puddles, moving cars, the POURING RAIN!! Anyway, put gas in the car (him cursing up a storm in my work parking lot none the less and it starts, but OH WAIT it still sounds horrible and it's jerky! Dad says it's because the gas hasn't cycled through, whatever, I hit the gas peddle, it doesn't help, it has to go to the shop anyway to get my breaks done, I manage to drive it over there, my hands shaking because I figure it's just going to fall apart in the middle of the road and I really, really love my car. Get it there nice and fine, Dad figures that it's the fuel line that's full of crap since I ran out of gas and that the filter is getting blocked so all they have to do is flush it out. Good, whatever. Let's go, I'm fucking cold and wet.

3-Today; today I wake up to the fact that there's a freaking blizzard outside when it wasn't supposed to snow at all. It was fun to watch and all but damn, these weather people in Kentucky need some help. Dad gets home, Mom hasn't called me at all today, and the first thing he says "I can't believe your car is going to cost us $1,000 dollars." I just stare at him. "Your Mom hasn't called you?!" Uh no, fucker, she hadn't... So naturally, I feel sick, so freaking sick that I just kind of back up and sit down at the kitchen table. Apparently, my back break drums were bad too, so they naturally had to replace them as well. Oh but wait, it gets better. I think, okay, the car is done, I just have to save up more money, pay Mom back (Of course, all of my savings are seriously depleted at the moment thanks to my precious car. The savings that I wanted to keep for the fact that I want to move to NC with my boyfriend, not that that's in the future really now. More on that later.) and everything will be just fine. Mom calls Dad, Dad talks, hangs up, storms into the living room cursing and punching the couch and I'm thinking "Great. My nerves are already shot, but go ahead, pile it on." The car place says that my car skips gears, whatever the fuck that means, I've never heard it do that, but whatever. Dad says that means there is something wrong with the transmission and that's a "major expense" and that Mom is coming home to pick me up because my car is done. I'm thinking, it's done? It has apparently a major problem and you say it's done? He forgot to mention that the body shop that we took it to can't do the rest of the repair work it needs. Thank you god, I now have an ulcer.

I know compared to may people my problems are jack shit, but that doesn't mean I'm any less stressed out by the fact that I don't have the money to cover it all, that my parents are going to have to help and Mom is already upset about so many things so that's only go to make it worse, I may lose my car because hey, it's fucking 11 years old and it's NEVER had a transmission replaced. I'm stressed out because I think too much, because there's a chance for me to take a promotion at work but not only will it make me miserable because it's a horrible job, I'll probably continue to have these anxiety attacks that I can't do anything about because I don't have insurance. Since everyone else is having so many horrible problems, I feel like I shouldn't complain, so I'm keeping it in and it's making it worse.

These four days were supposed to be my vacation...

Fuck it.

P.S. Fuck you too, fate and the horse you road in on to ruin people's lives.

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