Wednesday, August 26, 2009

More Random Writings...Let's See Where This Takes US; FYI The Formatting is Still Fucked.

"Do you think it makes a fucking difference!?" He roared, tightening his fingers on her upper arms so that he could see the flinch of pain cross her face. He shook her once, hard and watched the color drain from her cheeks as her soft lips parted to let the air in and out of her lungs faster to keep up with her quickly beating heart. "Do you think anything you can do or say will make a goddamn difference?" He threw her hard onto the bed, watched her slender body bounce once then curl up into a protective ball.

Rowan curled her fingers into the silky sheets of the bed, her heart beat pounding in her ears as her lungs burned painfully, on the line of hyperventilating. She flinched as he stepped forward then scrambled up towards the head board as one of the wooden bed posts splintered then cracked in half loudly from the pressure of his squeezing hand. He felt the violence rush through him, felt it heat his blood, felt it move off of him in smooth waves and smelled the reaction she was having from it. He let his head fall back and he breathed in deeply, her scent, the scent of her blood made the animal inside of him snarl and lash against the chains he so desperately contained it with.

"Those dreams," He began, his voice treacherously soft despite the fury swirling in his golden, soulless eyes. "Do you think they are going to save you?" He stepped forward again, until his thighs pressed against the side of the bed and he watched her as she pressed her back against the smooth head board, as far away from him as she could get. "Answer me!" He snapped, and the command echoed through the room, leaving the hair on her arms and on the back of her neck standing on end.

"I..." She choked out, the hysterical fear moving inside of her trying to force itself out through her lips. "I...!" She squeezed her eyes shut as her fingers groped along the bed until they closed around the cord of the single lamp that lit the room from the bedside table and then silence filled her head. She could no longer hear the beating of her heart, the harshness of her breathing, she could see him laughing, but heard no sound from him as a high pitched ringing began to fill her ears.

His laugh was harsh, amused at the fear that tainted her voice, even more so at the fact that she was unable to form a full sentence from it. Her eyes opened then, determined emerald locked onto his cold golden ones and for a moment he was taken aback.

Where was the fear?

"I don't need to be saved!" She snarled at him and jerked the cord, pulling the lamp into her hand and hurled it at him with all of her strength. She watched him raise his arms just in time as the china shattered against the steel of his muscles the light bulb being crushed against the shade with a loud pop as the room went dark. Rowan heard his furious curse, ignored it as her feet hit the wooden floor and she was running to the door as fast as she could. The light from the hallway was her only indication of her direction and when it went out she felt her heart freeze in her chest as she tried to stop.

She ran into him hard, knocking the breath from her lungs and tearing a terrified scream from her throat before a pained one followed after it quickly. He tangled his hand hard into her thick hair, jerked her head back and sunk his fangs into her neck with one harsh bite.

Rowan felt her knees buckle, damned the soild arm around her waist that held her up and as he consumed her, so did the darkness.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Now...Writing Time! EDIT:Format Sucks.

She sat at the window, temple pressed against the cold glass as snowflakes often interrupted her line of vision. Her emerald gaze remained locked on the fire blazing just beyond the tree line, and her brows seemed permanently creased in wonder. She vaguely registered hearing her mother down in the kitchen, closing a cabinet door, the soft clinking of glass bumping against one another but was focused on the roar she swore she could hear from the orange flickering light.
The sun was slowly setting, the moon rising as if being pulled by the hot ball of light and the snow that covered the ground seemed to sparkle, lighting up the trees just beyond the fire. She felt as if she should be at peace, with the soft white light surrounding the window; instead chaos consumed her as the flames spread further, melting the snow and burning everything in its furious path.

"Rowan! Go outside and get your father for dinner!" She turned away from the window then, felt her cold temple and cheek warm then shuddered at the thought of feeling the rest of her body drop to that temperature. "Rowan?" Her mother called to her again and she cleared her throat before yelling back down the stairs.

"I heard you, I just need to put on some shoes!" She grabbed her boots then muttered, "And about forty pounds to be able to survive out in the freaking sub zero winter weather." It was a struggle to tie up her boots as she fought to lean over, her extra two sweat shirts, her winter jacket and two scarves serving well to make her look at least forty pounds heavier. "Should have put the boots on first." She grumbled as she clunked her way down the dark wooden stares and down into the foyer.

Her mother leaned out of the kitchen, looked her over then grinned and for a moment Rowan felt like she was looking in a mirror. "You're going to be outside for a whole two minutes." She laughed and shook her head, disappearing once again behind the kitchen wall.

"Lesser men have died in one!" Rowan called after her then puffed up her cheeks, clunking her way to the door. She pulled her thick gloves from one of her many pockets, put them on and closed her hand around the door knob and twisted. The smooth metal refused to budge as her hand slipped around it like it was made of wet soap. "Oh come on!" She kicked at the base of the door, ill tempered and jerked a glove off of her hand then jerked the door open.
The cold blast of air that hit her face took her breath away for a moment and she felt her bones shiver under her skin.

"Oh, jeez." She groped behind her head, closed her fingers around her hood and jerked it over her dark brown hair and half way down her nose then scrambled to put her glove back on. "Unnatural..." She muttered as she carefully stepped down the icy steps, clinging to the rail next to her. "Stupid ice..." She grumbled as she stepped to the side, off of the ice covered walk way and into the soft crunch of the snow. "Too cold to even make a snow man." She grumped as she slowly made her way to the line of trees. From under the edge of her hood she could see the light of the fire flickering eerily across the snow and she felt her heart squeeze as she made her way closer to the tall flames.

"Dad?" She saw her breath freeze as she called out to him, and jumped as something cracked loudly and crashed into the fire, sending sparks into the air. "Get a grip, it's fire, it's not like it's going to reach out and grab you." She scolded herself then rolled her shoulders, moving into the tree line. "Besides, it's warm..." She edged her way around the pile of burning wood and felt herself start to sweat from the heat of it. "Dad?" She called again and pushed her hood up a bit, to be able to see more in front of her. The light of the fire washed over the ground, over the trees and the snow covered rocks and to the work shed her father spent so much time in, creating things. She shifted, squinted then her eyes went wide, her pupils dilated and her breath rushed from her lungs in the sound of a strangled cry.

Fire light danced playfully over his body, pinned to the shed by pieces of wood. The blood that had run down the dark wooden wall of the work shed was now frozen in crimson crystalline trails. She felt the blood rush from her face, from her limbs, felt the energy leak from her legs as her knees buckled and the ground rushed up to smash into them, softened barely by the snow. Her eyes stared unblinking at his form, pierced by wood through his chest, arms, neck and thighs. His mouth was hanging open, jaw slack, saliva frozen on his chin, swirled with blood. His eyes were open, the green now frosty white. She felt the bile rise up, she felt the hysteria follow behind it, and as she retched and screamed and sobs his frozen eyes turned to her, his head tilting and his jaw cracking loudly, like ice breaking as his voice whispered out.

"You killed me."

"No!" Rowan roared as she sat up in bed, tears streaming down her face and hair flying around her wildly. She looked around, saw her temporary bedroom come into perspective and she scrambled out of bed and ran to the bathroom where she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet, coughing violently.

Slowly the room stopped spinning, her stomach stopped churning and she could breathe again.

"Goddamn it." She sat back against the cool wall, shivered at the feeling then relaxed. "Fuck." She pushed a shaking hand through her hair then her shoulders shook, and she tilted her head back and laughed. Rowan laughed until her sides hurt, until she couldn't breathe and until she fell over on the floor, her nose nearly bumping a bare foot covered by black baggy sweatpants.
She shifted, rolled over onto her back, mindless of her nightshirt riding up dangerously high on her thighs and met curious blue eyes.

"I heard you scream," His voice sent a shiver of delight down her spine and she watched him, no longer laughing. "I figured you had a nightmare again." He crouched down and grabbed her under the arms, hauling her up to sitting once again. She felt like she was a child, and decided to sulk like one.

"So sorry for disturbing your peace." Her chin jut out and he sat down slowly on the floor next to her.

"Did I say anything like that?" He let the annoyance show on his face.

"No, but..."

"Have I ever said anything like that?" He watched her brows pull together and was happy to see that the color was slowly returning to her cheeks; it must have been horrible.

"No you haven't, but..."

"Then why do you do that?" He resisted the urge to lay his hand on hers.

"Do what?" She watched his handsome face, saw the concern there and felt a glow start in her chest.

"Assume you know what I'm going to say, or what I'm thinking."

"You do it to me all of the time." She scowled at him.

"Yes, but I'm always right." Her scowl grew, and she squashed the small glow in her chest, putting it out.

"You're an asshole."

"That's Mr. Asshole to you." He gave her an even stare, and his face was composed, showing nothing of his thoughts; it was business like. Rowan felt the embarrassment start to crawl up her back, she had just called her boss an asshole, the man who was protecting her, an asshole.

Her mumbled apology made him want to grin.

"Regardless of what you were thinking, I'm sorry for disturbing your peace. It was just a bad dream." She tried to stop the shiver from rocking her body and failed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The kindness in his voice made her stomach clench and she turned her face away from his.

"No," She shrugged gently then stood. "For once, it was just a dream. It wasn't something that actually happened, or that can happen."

He watched her walk out of the bathroom then looked at the floor, relieved.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Society Loves Liars.

Smile, be polite, ask "How are you doing today?" and no matter what type of response they give you, if it involves " are you?" don't say how you're actually doing.

I mean, a customer doesn't want to know that your dog just died, that you have a growth on the back of your left ankle that you really need to get checked, and employees are the same way.

Being polite often times=lie.

Isn't it just easier to lie and cover the truth? Often times it seems easier than to solve problems between people, or for yourself.

How are you doing today?

Well, I felt overly tired this morning even though I went to bed at a decent time, I drove to work and futilely called my boyfriend who, like normal, didn't answer; though he did manage to call me back as I was shoving my phone in my locker, I failed to answer.

Soon after I felt sick, ran two the bathroom twice to empty the contents of my stomach that just so happens were already empty since I woke up fifteen minutes late and there was nothing I could take for breakfast on the road.

I got a break, I ate something that wasn't on my diet and felt a bit better, went back to work, managed to keep it down, went to lunch, ate the same thing and 800 out of 1200 calories later I was back at work where I stayed in returns until it was time for me to leave.

I seriously think it was the longest six hours of my life.

Came home, sat on the couch and fell asleep for a whole ten minutes after being licked to near death by the gremlin that is my dog and then played scrabble for hours with my parents while eating an egg salad sandwich that I fear isn't going to go over well with my currently very sensitive stomach.

These are the times I'm glad that I don't live with roommates/boyfriend.

Met a new guy at work, his name is Michael, he's 27, 6'5, and he likes hitting on me for fun to see what colors my face turns.

His line from today was, when I teased him and told him to stop teasing me, fraternizing wasn't allowed and he got real close and leaned down and whispered "Well darlin', what I want to do with you is a bit beyond fraternizing, it's starts with an 'f' too though." then winked and walked off while I tried to control the color of my face.

Everytime he passes by me, he does something goofy and by the end of the day I found myself start to smile even before he said anything. He's fond of using my head as an arm rest as well. I'm glad I found another person to joke around with at work.

I'm currently stalling on writing things for my book...I think I'm lazy, as a matter of fact, I'm so lazy I don't think I want to sit up and be on the computer tonight which means my talking with Keith'll be limited since he's too chicken to call me at an AM past 12 for fear of his mother bitching or doing something of the sort I suppose.

I'm not becomming bitter at all, am I?

I wore a hat today at work, not sure why but it was nice to not have the light in my eyes all day even if I did look dorky.

Tomorrow I work a stupid mid-shift again, but then I get to be off on Friday, that's exciting anyways. But on Saturday...urgh...I have to get up at six am to open, but at night I'm going to a garden wedding with my mother which should be wicked fun. Hm...what to wear.

Oooh, the hottie Aaron is going to be there I hope!

I think this post is all over the place...

If you like soundtrack/background music, check out the group Two Steps From Hell's songs Freedom Fighter, Equus, and Calamity. They're neat.

Well, I suppose I'll attempt to call Keith one more time before giving up on him for the night then going to lay down in my nice and squishy bed.

Monday, August 17, 2009

At This Very Moment...

I am so very content.

Today I was awakened by the not so soft ring of my phone, when I rolled over to grab it, it was my father informing me that he was getting ready to get into the shower and for me to get up so we can go and eat lunch and see a movie.

We unfortunately had a miscommunication about what time the movie started so we left too early but ended up blowing time by going to Half Price Books, where I spend twenty dollars on four manga (Fruits Baskets 1-3 and Tramps Like Us 2) and two movies (Spriggan and Golden Eye) while he spent his time drooling over the vinyl records and the marked down history books.

He was in a good mood all through lunch (Which we ate at Subway and thanks to my crash course diet I ate Wheat bread...wasn't TOO bad.), and when we saw District 9 (Fucking fantastic movie, by the way) he liked it so much he was practically bouncing as he walked.

We then met up with Mom at this wonderful little restaurant called Cosi and had dinner (I ate once again according to my diet. I'm so proud of myself T_T). Dad wanted to go back to half price books to see if there was a movie he could find that he wanted to watch at work tonight and ended up buying the new King Kong while I browsed once again finding seven more manga (Fruits Baskets 5,6, 14, 15, Demon Diary ((Yay for yaoi!)) 1 &2 and Kaikan Phrase 1) and two journals which I promptly bought for another twenty dollars. I was in heaven, and all of the manga was nearly mint condition.

We then went home where Mom and Dad are taking a nap and where I just finished reorganizing my bookshelf to make room for my 11 new manga.

One of the best parts is, is that for once I don't have buyers remorse for buying all of that manga which is usually ten dollars and change which would have make it over $110 because I bought them all plus two movies and two journals for a little over forty bucks.

I am a great shopper!

I want to go shopping there again!

Half Off Books is my new love, especially when they have decent and decently kept up books.

Now I'm just waiting for the boyfriend to make a grand entrance so we can start our date night!

Hm...I wonder if I can convince him to watch more Hana Yori Dango (Live Action Drama) with me.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

No Go.

So, we're not having our normal date night tonight...he's sick and exhausted so he's sleeping.

I'm...surprisingly incredibly disappointed about it, it's not his fault, but I haven't talked to him a whole lot the last few days and was looking forward to tonight...

Oh well...

There's always next week.

So he'll rest and get better and then things'll be back to normal, I can deal with that.


Saturday, August 1, 2009


Samantha's coming to see me!!!!!!!!! She's my bestest friend ever from high school and she's back in the states and is coming to seeeeeee me!!!