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Saturday, September 5, 2009

Furious.

I'm so angry I'm shaking.

I have cold chills.

My stomach is rolling like I'm on a rollar coaster from hell.

I have so much adrinaline coursing through me that I could probably kill someone without much intended force behind it.

I haven't been this angry since I've been with Jared or since Dad tried to hit me.

This is a dangerous line, and you have no idea how close you are to falling over the edge.

You are warned; and your inabilites to do the things you say you will are one step closer from bringing things to a new level of hardships between us.

The fact that I have to push you or ask you questions in order to get things done every fucking time something goes wrong is starting to wear thin on me.

This is wearing very thin.

I don't want a fucking child to babysit, or another stupid fucking man who doesn't know his asshole from a hole in the ground, or a fucked up boyfriend who will let his family walk all over our relationship.

I AM DONE WITH THOSE TYPES OF THINGS.

If you don't think I'm serious by now then keep pushing your luck.

My forgiveness is going to be quick to wear out.

I'm fucking tired of repeating myself, of being the one who has to step up and fix things where it should be you that does it, who jumps onto what needs to be fixed since you love me so goddamn much.

Everyday I deal with things like this, or see people deal with things like that and everyday my hopes in "love" being enough fall a little more.

I'm tired of this shit.

I'm absolutely furious.

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