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Saturday, November 6, 2010

Iro Iro...Many Things...

Hello Greensboro, North Carolina. I have been living in you for four months now and it feels like it's only been weeks, slightly slow weeks, but weeks none the less. There have been struggles, hard struggles and there have been amazing changes thus far. I know a secret, can't share it yet, but I will when it's time. Whenever that may be.

Keith has his good days and bad days. Mostly good when he's with me (which is always since we are now sharing an apartment in the vast city of Greensboro), with a few times of severe lows. He's having trouble with his mother's death, naturally, but...I feel helpless when these lows come around and I want to be able to soothe his pain. He struggles with his very much alive father who keeps the tradition around of hating me alive for whatever reason him and Kathy had hidden away (other than the fact that I did not complete college ((yet)) ). That is something I've been trying to rectify with very little success and now Mr. Hill is going to be having hip replacement surgery which I believe is going to be impacting our lives greatly (and by our I mean, Keith's so that impacts me). I am dearly hoping he has the surgery in Greensboro, that way Keith can try and build up his relationship with his father more, if his father will have it. I have never seen a family like theirs and never wish to again if I can help it. Keith and I made a trip down to SC to replace the flowers on the family graves and of course went to visit his father, it was a painfully awkward trip for me which ended in greatness when we got to spend a few hours on the beach, just watching the ocean and that was very nice. We took pictures until my camera ran out of batteries.

We've been working at AON as temporary CSR's where we answer the phone and help people enroll for their 2011 benefits from difference companies such as MGM, Sony, Ryder, Harrah's Entertainment, etc. We have been working out asses off and are hoping to get full time jobs. I don't have much hope for that now, but it's been a good experience and has been allowing us to save up money. Our next purchase will be a real bed instead of the slowly deflating blow up bed we've been using. I haven't gotten to see my friend's hardly at all between working mandatory over-time and seeing my family and being just too exhausted to do anything but crawl into bed and I fear that it's harming my relationships with people. One person in particular. I feel like a shitty person for not seeing her, it's really sad too because we're so close together but with work, and the holiday season being here cluttering up our weekends I don't know when I'll get to see her. I hope she can forgive me...it's not like I'm not trying to keep in touch or see her, life is just being difficult right now and not making much allowances for having a social life. I don't even get to watch my shows that I want to see. Castle, House, all of the J-drama and anime I want to catch up on, nothing. I haven't even been listening to my MP3 player, which is something (for those of you who know me) is SO out of the ordinary it's scary. Usually it's glued to my hand with the cords resting over my shoulder.

I need to clean the apartment. My apartment, did I mention I live in one? It's on the first floor and consists of a very small kitchen, a bed room, bathroom and a patio. I like it okay, it's a little dark for my taste, not a whole lot of natural light and we lack decent furniture (like...a couch?) so having company over is just embarrassing which is, if you're wondering why I haven't had you over yet...is the reason. I also need to do laundry, at the apartment owned mat just a few steps from our apartment building. It builds up over the week, and since we don't get home until around seven, don't get to eat until around eight and have to go to bed around ten I tend to neglect it during the week for other things...like sleeping or just laying in bed wondering if my life is going to continue to consist of long days where I don't feel accomplished at all even though I'm making money.

This is the first time I've written anything since I moved, no fanfiction, no stories, no poems, nothing. My mind needs a good rest. Hopefully in these next few weeks I will have what I need, even if it is while I'm searching for a new job because this temp job is nearly up.

Well...I think that's enough stuff for now. Today is Keith's birthday and I'm going to go and make him a steak dinner.

Ciao

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